I’ve had a bit of a layman’s obsession with numerology and seeing recurring number sequences for quite a long time now, such as 2020, 1111, 3113 and so on. Over the years I have taught myself various calculations and ways of interpreting the results. My newest venture is to learn about Chaldean numerology, which is a much, much older system than the Pythagorean one, and some people feel it is more accurate. Of course there are those who think we’re all bat shit crazy, but to each their own. Learning about this new system, (following legally changing my name with guidance from a numerological genius named Psio ) has rekindled my obsession and I’ve been learning more about all of my friends’ and family’s numbers too. Just because single parenting isn’t enough work – why not add some pointless maths?
For those with no knowledge of numerology whatsoever, but enough interest to keep reading, numerology is an occult study of the impact of numbers in our life and psychological, spiritual, physical and mental make up. Like astrology is the study of how the positioning of numerous planets, stars and asteroids affects us, numerology is a sort of numerical practice along a similar vein. It predominantly uses the date of birth and a codified way of translating letters to numbers to calculate numerical values from our names. You can also work out other dates, house numbers and any numbers you see often or repeatedly, as mentioned above. I find it very fascinating and so do some of my friends. Others get really annoyed with me when I attempt to reduce everything to maths, especially because I suck at maths.
The numbers have characteristics, like the zodiac does. You have five core numbers (and much more) from your name and date of birth and these are considered to be the most influential, albeit not the only influences. They give insight into things like personality, what natural skills we might possess, themes that span our life and what challenges or obstacles we might face. I use them like information check points, or sign posts to help me understand how to grow, why I’m stuck or what I think ‘the universe’ (or my higher self) is trying to tell me by the things I notice more than others.
I had already known some of the info I learned tonight, but when I originally learned it, I did not understand the significance until now. Looking at the lives and numbers of others’ around me has made me much more aware of why I have been relentlessly stuck on the same lessons, seemingly aimlessly, for my whole life. You know, other than the fact that I don’t bloody learn and just do the same shit over and over and expect different results whilst not really aiming to arrive anywhere. *Side note: I once posted on facebook that this was the definition of insanity and a beautiful, kind friend replied that it could be an optimist too!* I have only two challenge numbers in my chart: zero and four. I have 4 three times, actually. The only other person I have looked at so far who has this same weird challenge pattern is my daughter. Zero then three of the same number for the rest of our lives. My father has a similar pattern but not quite the same. Everyone else’s has some variation. Not us. Nope!
What this means for me, is that for the first thirty odd years of my life, I had no pre dictated purpose – a zero – I had a free run to grow or screw up as much as I wished. I could have done the self mastery and great achievement thing, but instead I seemed to do the chaos route, or some sort of butterfly effect amateur dramatics (nearly a pro) and accidentally, only occasionally, got a little bit of self mastery out of it. Perhaps self awareness is more accurate. I have the next few decades for mastery. And I guess that is my punishment and reward – for the next 60 plus years, I get to work really hard to put all of the lessons and losses of the first thirty years to good use. Three cycles of 4…. lots and lots and lots of work!!! I also can hopefully prepare my daughter to use her time more wisely, but seeing as she has a lifetime of 1 challenge – a number strongly connected to leadership – and a life path of five – the number of freedom and adventure – I doubt I’ll have much power to sway or tame her. That pleases and terrifies me.
Below is a write up for the challenge numbers I am facing, as the pro’s say it better than me, and you can learn more about them here: https://feliciabender.com/pinnacles-and-challenge-numbers/
The 0 Challenge is called the Cipher Number. This number represents all or nothing, empty or full. You decide. With this number, you are given “a free pass,” so to speak. You’re being offered an enhanced dose of free will.Felicia Bender https://feliciabender.com/pinnacles-and-challenge-numbers/
If you have a 0 Challenge, you can choose to amble idly along without a determined course or you can grab this profound opportunity to rise above your demons and achieve greatness. That is how powerful this energy can be for your Pinnacle. When you see a 0 in Numerology, it serves as an amplifier. To meet the challenge of the 0 vibration, you must have some sense of mastery over the constructive aspects of all the other numbers: independence, leadership, creativity, emotional self-expression, diplomacy, application, hard work, understanding, responsibility, wisdom, personal power, and humanitarian vision
It’s suggested that a person who has a 0 Challenge number on their journey is a well traveled soul, so the 0 offers opportunities for you to use your compilation of soul knowledge during your lifetime.
There’s great opportunity for expansion and growth under this Challenge. The obstacles you face during a 0 challenge may not be many or they may be coming at you from all directions. You can think of it this way: This is the Challenge of Choice. Therefore, choice feels more confusing and difficult during this period. The 0 is challenging you to have the utmost faith in your own abilities to the extent that you can form a healthy sense of detachment with which you can analyze a situation, make a choice, and then act on that choice with ease and comfort, unconcerned and neutral in feeling regarding the outcome.
And number four (for 60+more years!!):
When you’re met with a Number 4 Challenge, you are meant to learn about the value of discipline, organization, practicality, hard work, and thrift. Take this to heart: This isn’t an easy challenge. It’s full of restrictions and limitations that are demanding you learn how to succeed and work within these boundaries.Felicia Bender https://feliciabender.com/pinnacles-and-challenge-numbers/
It’s also a time where you’re challenged with learning to set your own personal boundaries with others, learning to temper impatience, stubbornness, narrow-mindedness, and self-righteousness. With the 4 Challenge, you are being pulled to slow down, create a clear plan with obtainable goals, and then work tirelessly to achieve them.
The 4 Challenge also suggests a difficulty with work. Either you are challenged with not wanting to work at all, not liking the work you are “forced” to do, or problems completing tasks and working with efficiency. You may also exhibit tendencies to be careless and lack a sense of practicality. With this number, it’s difficult not only to focus on work and obligations, but equally as difficult even to see what the real issues surrounding work and obligations are. You might not feel that you’re being lazy. You might feel you’re just unlucky. Or make excuses about it. You get the idea.
With a 4 Challenge, it’s vital to learn patience, understanding, and the practical and effective way to deal with what you might consider mundane responsibilities. You’ll most likely also be challenged to learn the importance of working within the parameters of a time schedule, showing up on time and when you say you will, and managing your downtime constructively.
Revisiting my challenge numbers tonight gave me one of those blindingly obvious epiphanies, the kind containing knowledge that should have been accessible day to day throughout life. Perhaps it sounds a little nuts to even type this out loud (so to speak) on a blog about self growth and development and what not. Here it is anyway.
This isn’t a dress rehearsal – this is life. If I don’t step up now, I might never!
Tonight I realised with all of my being that if I do not put in the work, I will always be in this place of only talking about what I want to achieve. At some point, I need to stop talking about all the challenges I’ve overcome and all the things I have learned and actually do something with that shit. Seeing that I have 60 more years of the same damn lessons, I guess I’d better evolve. Like a Pokemon or something. Always the same Pokemon deep down, just a better version, wisening with experience, and only ready for play when freed from their little pokeball. What were they called again? pokepod? Pokedome? My talents are not in video game content writing, that’s for sure. I need to break out of my pokeball!
In other words…. step the fuck outside the box. Level up. DO SOMETHING!
Spring has made me powerfully aware that it is time to bloom. Single parenting has made me feel powerfully stuck in autumn and winter mode, though. Shedding and hibernating and eating lots of cake! Thats not strictly true, actually. I have actually been sweating rivers digging up my front garden, planting bulbs, painting fences, cleaning, clearing, rearranging and sorting out the house and trying to maintain my yoga, meditation and gratitude practices. I have been eating lots of cake though. The ‘healthy eating’ is so much of a struggle for me. The apple cider vinegar was seemingly triggering some weird histamine issue so I have stopped that to reset and I WILL RESUME. I have been using homeopathy to try and start off from a better place. I’ll write about that some other time – its been quite profound.
Writing that I WILL eat healthily has just reminded me of this old thing I used to write, where for years I wrote about stopping and starting and stopping and starting and stopping and starting smoking. I just couldn’t bloody stop, for the life of me. But I have now! For over 2 years, longest ever. So the moral of the story is that if I write about it for long enough, eventually I can do it. I WILL EAT WELL. I will do something with all of my hard work already clocked.
I have started to learn about gardening lately because I want a much more visually obvious manifesting lesson to my self: the more work you put in, the more rewards you reap. Simultaneously, nature reminds me that there are seasons for a reason. We can’t always hibernate and hide away eating pie. I want to see more instant results, more fruits of my labours. I am practicing my fours. Im getting ready to burst out of my pokeball and get in the poke-arena.
Incidentally, a few years ago I became aware of Brené Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability. I remembered watching it and thinking “this!!! This is exactly what I’ve been learning to do – having the courage to be imperfect and knowing I’m worthy of love and belonging”. I found her talk on Listening to Shame, years later, after having to try and understand why it was so hard to grow at times. This just popped into my head because all her work is marvellous and she now has a Netflix original program called the Call to Courage, which I watched the other night. Somehow this stranger lady is always there calling me out on my shit and inviting me to participate in my life more fully. And it is there on Netflix still, inviting us all to date greatly, and she based so much of her work on Theodore Roosevelt’s quote.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”Theodore Roosevelt, April 23, 1910
Time to get back in the arena and get my Pokemon on!