Just For You

I would use all that’s left of me as currency

And I would trade with all the merchants 

Offering all that I am in exchange for all the parts of you you’d lost

I’d buy you back all the pieces of yourself you gifted to others

The ones so beautifully wrapped in love, understanding and patience

Made better still with fancy bows embroidered with hopes and dreams

Now tossed aside like a spoiled child’s unwanted gift 

Just because it wasn’t enough

I would steal from the street sellers

The ones who gathered up your presence when it was thrown away like rubbish

I’d prize your beauty right out of their greedy fingertips

Solely to put it back into your palms

They don’t deserve to profit from your greatness

They never even knew your worth

I would go all in against any royal flush 

With my poker face 

As difficult to read as was the outcome of your kindnesses 

I would win back all the chips you now wear on your shoulder 

Against all odds I’d gamble it all in your favour

I would make you so rich with yourself that you’d never run out 

I would carefully mastermind a heist 

One more successful than the Great British Train Robbery

I’d be the greatest robber stealing the greatest treasure

My victory accountable to my knowing you were valuable long before they even noticed you were missing

They were too busy expecting you to line their pockets so they could spend you until you were all gone

I would scour the oceans with a great big net

Searching for all the pieces of me that swam away while I was drowning

I’d fight killer whales

Ones that swallowed all parts of me I was willing (or not) to give

I’d wrench open their jaws, climb right in and find the things I never should have fed them

And then I would give them all to you

I would go back in time and find you whole

I’d meet you before you lost your faith in future

And I’d warn you

I’d say 

‘You are too precious to be given away 

But you are too beautiful to be kept locked in 

So you have to choose’

And I’d tell you

‘I will find you one day 

I might not have much of me left by then

But I’ll try and save enough for us both’

And then one day you might remember

You might see me and you might have chosen

You may learn that all those holes in you

The gaps where all that happy used to be

Are there for me to love the most

If all those things you gave away that left you empty could be mine

And all those things I gave away that left me empty could be yours

We would always be full

But I can’t do any of those things

Not even just for you

All there is, is all that’s left 

And from all that we can salvage

Maybe there’s enough